Should I sleep with someone who's a good friend of my mother's?
Dear Mookychick,
Help, I need some love advice. And, in fact, some sex advice! Two years ago, I had a maths tutor / bass teacher who's 8 years older than me. He was one of my mum's best friends who worked with her. I always had a crush on him, and fantasised about him.
Recently we got talking on msn and he gave me his number and we're always texting now... but we text dirty stuff, and he says how much we wanted to get with me. Nobody knows about us apart from my best friend and his room mate.
I want to meet up with him and spend the night with him. But I somehow feel it's wrong.
I'm 16, so it's legal, isn't it? even though he's 24? But it would be even worse that he's my mum's friend?
I keep finding myself thinking about him and I've told him that I'm falling for him.
So... would it be wrong to sleep with him?
Love, Anonymous Me xxx
The Mookychick answer to your problem
Ashley says...
The problem is that you're bringing up this conflict, not him. The
fact that he's not a bit wary about it says something - and not that
you guys are soulmates. He's the older one, which means he should
follow Dan Savage's campground rule, which is "leave younger
boyfriends/girlfriends in better shape than you found them."
The good
news is that you guys haven't done anything yet. The bad news is that
he hasn't shied away from messing with your head. In a few years, the
eight years difference will seem - and be less and less significant.
But right now, it's on the cusp of being weird.
You've wisely got
reservations about it already. You've got nothing to lose by waiting.
If he's a gentleman, he'll understand that. If not, better to find out
by not doing anything than when it's too late.
Further links
Mission statement
Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.
