The pregnancy symptoms they forgot to tell you

by Vanity

Morning sickness isn't the half of it. Pregnancy symptoms include anything from vaginal discharge to piles, heartburn and pooing in labour. Let's deal with some of those pregnancy nasties.

OK, so you're pregnant. You're glowing, and you've got over the shock and possibly the morning sickness. People envy that rounded podge and you love to rub your belly and smile. All is wonderful for a short while until that daily heartburn sets in... Here is how to deal with them common yet rarely mentioned pregnancy symptoms - the Nasties of Pregnancy.

Pregancy symptoms include the dreaded piles. Yes, piles, them nasty grape-looking things sticking out of your you-know-where. Pregnancy piles are really common but rarely talked about and often un-noticed. Piles are itchy, uncomfortable and occasionally bleed. Do not fear - you can have cream from your doctors that ease the pain. Taking a warm bath or applying a hot or cold flannel to the area will also ease the discomfort. Piles won't just go away, so drink loads of water, eight to ten glasses daily, eat a high fibre diet, do exercise and stop reading on the loo! Aim to be out of the toilet in one minute! They are caused by constipation, blood flow and pushing in labour. They really are common - so don't panic.

Heartburn doesn't always affect people. Back in the day, if you had heartburn in pregnancy it meant your baby had lots of hair - but according to the recent poll I did, that's very incorrect. Heartburn in pregnancy is perfectly normal, but one of those pregnancy symptoms that no one told me about. I had never even had it before and it really scared me! Gaviscon can be taken in pregnancy, thankfully. No need to see the doc.

Thrush is a common pregnancy symtom because natural occurring bacteria is changed by the pregnancy hormone. It causes vaginal itching and apparently resembles 'milk curds' Yuk! This will not cause you baby any problems during pregnancy but if left untreated it can be passed to your baby as she emerges from the birth canal. If you think you have it, speak to your doctor or midwife as this can be treated with a cream and pessary. Do not buy Canesten Duo as this cannot be used during pregnancy.

Pooing in labour. Yes, you may laugh, but it is so easy and was my biggest fear in pregnancy! You are pushing so unbelievably hard to get that bouncing baby out that it's expected! The midwife down there won't say a thing and unless your birthing partners are down your lady garden end, they won't notice either. You may not notice you have either!

Nipple changes are normal but completely freaked me out one morning in the mirror! Your nipple will darken quite a lot and enlarge anything up to four times the size. This will go back to normal usually after birth, but there's nothing you can do about it.

Lady gardening is a chore and it's even harder when you're seven months' pregnant and you cant see your feet! If you're happy to be natural then life is easy-peasy, but shaving is a pain. You may find that your partner will do it for you if you ask - or should I say if you dare! But if you are alone, it is possible. Take it slow and use a mirror if needed. You can still get waxed whilst pregnant and getting waxed at a salon is often easier. Always remember, the beautician has seen EVERYTHING!

Bladder control in pregnancy. You laugh too hard, you pee. Simple. Always wear panty liners and do at least 25 pelvic floor exercises a day. This will keep your pelvic muscles strong and prevent against them weakening due to the pressure of the baby. Do pelvic floor exercises after birth too - they help you heal quicker as they increase blood flow to your lady garden. Google Pelvic Floors to find out what they are and how to do them. They are vital.

Birthing discharge. Your birthing books say "it's common to experience a slight increase in discharge." Erm, try replacing the word 'slight' with 'huge'! Panty liners are your friend in pregnancy so carry them on you at all times. If your discharge smells or is a yellowy colour, see your midwife as you may have an infection that will need treating.

Postnatal bleeding happens straight after you give birth and will last roughly 5-6 weeks. For the first 2 weeks it's really really heavy and you will need to wear maternity pads or night time pads. It's not nice but is completely normal. Warning, don't sit down for too long then stand up.

But other than that, pregnancy is cool.! It's exciting and scary all at the same time. You wish for it to be over - but when the baby's born, you really miss the stages of pregnancy. Enjoy!

Links for pregnancy symptoms

• Pica
• NHS Direct
• Emma's Diary
• Vegetarian Society
• About.com Pregnancy
• Net Doctor
• BBC Pregnancy
• Pregnancy Planner
• Express Yourself Mums-Morning Sickness Advice
• Food Standards Agency
• Emma's Diary
• Baby and Pregnancy

Mookychick loves alternative pregnancy & mooky motherhood:

• Pregnancy symptoms - the embarrassing bits
• Morning sickness cures
• How to look alternative whilst pregnant
• Sexy pregnany lingerie - where to get it, and should it be allowed?
• Pregnancy and a vegetarian diet
• Alternative weaning - for cheap

More alternative health and gothic beauty tips

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Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.