Vintage Handbag Obsession
Confessions of a handbag swinger
by Ruby Mae James
Kitsch, retro and vintage handbags are objects worthy of lust. Ruby Mae James names her handbags like children. Find out more about where you can get kitsch, vintage and retro handbags - and about Ruby's super-charming obsession.
While I am not stupid enough to lust after £900 designer jobs that were made for £2.50, I'm obssessed with my unusual handbags. I keep them clean with a special cloth, avoid lending them to others and when someone stops me in the street to ask about my bag, I'm high for the rest of the day. I even name them like children.
My number one bag is a gorgeous black and red corset bag from my teenage days as a punk. Not one of those knock-offs ones you see in pound shops, but the original roebuck one. I named her Betty after Betty Page (The kitsch was pushing through even in my teens). She cost me £40 - which was a lot for me. She is getting on now - her handle is battered and she has a scratch, but I can't ever bear to throw her away.
As I blossomed into my twenties, so did my handbag collection. I have one in the shape of a powder-puff (Diane) that drives the drag queen who runs the local club crazy. Doris is a kitsch bag shaped like a small dog that fits under my arm and gets me funny looks in Dingles. My best friend got me a custom-made handbag with my name on... ah, the joy of telling others it was a one-off!
With each handbag comes a honeymoon period where you lap up envious looks from the local girls in the pub. But you soon need a new fix - there comes a point when everyone has seen your bag and before you know it you're pestering the local drunk with claims that it has a pocket to store your lipstick.
One day I was walking the dog carrying my custom-made bag and it was made very clear to me how obssessed over handbags I had become.
A very ugly 15 year old hoodie stepped out from behind a bush, wearing the whole Elizabeth Duke collection can carrying a pen knife.
"Hand over the bag or I'll cut you up!"
I'm not sure if it was shock or the fact his bling was blinding me, but I came out with something you should never say when faced with a knife.
"No," I said.
"Do it," he replied, slightly in shock himself.
I refused. "Listen, mate - this bag is custom-made. There is no way on earth I am handing it over to a guy wearing more jewellery than Elizabeth Taylor!"
Before he could respond or ask me who Elizabeth Taylor was, the dog bit him and he ran.
I was annoyed rather than scared. I mean, really! Asking me for my handbag? Why not just rip off my arm? It would have been easier.
Hm. I wonder if there are support groups for people like me?
Want to get into kitsch and vintage handbags?
Try these links...
www.pussyhomeboutique.co.uk (Comic-strip suitcases, handbags and more)
www.revampproductions.com (GORGEOUS punk handbags, US vintage car-inspired bags and more. Drool.)
http://maddiepowers.com (Pulp fiction novel-inspired purses and bags - handmade)
www.itsvintagedarling.co.uk/ (vintage handbags)
7 inch record truckette bags (A bag with a 7" single in it!)
www.hannahzakari.co.uk/shop/browse/bags/ (nice bags in retro prints)
Drummond Read vintage bags (for serious vintage handbag collectors - buy and sell!)
www.lulus.co.uk (lovely, sweet, kitsch bags in all shapes and forms)
www.sophiefodden.co.uk/ (Bespoke bags in striking vintage fabrics)
http://the-green-apple.co.uk (Ethical but expensive bags with pretty satins and ribbons)
Madison Gre @ Etsy (Vintage-inspired handbags and clutch bags)
www.anyahindmarch.com (The environmentally-friendly 'I'm not a plastic bag' bag)
More alternative style tips
Mission statement
Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.


Ruby Mae James is a performance artist/comedian/writer who does a sideline in supervillainry and eating pic'n'mix. She drinks only babycham and wanders around the house in 50's style cocktail dresses, Elvis shades and bunny slippers pretending to be profound. 
